I miss it...

...pooping, I mean.  I haven't pooped in 5 days and I'm going to die.  I'll miss sitting on a porcelain throne reading what otherwise would be uninteresting reading material.  It feels like it was just yesterday...'cept it was actually Wednesday of last week.  I KNOW!  And it hurt like a motherfucker that time!  Oh Lawdy did it hurt.  I said to myself, "I'll never be top gay scout"....

So, now I'll sit here and wait to die a violent death.  I knew this day would come.  But, not like this.

I've already told the cats.  They took it pretty well.  A little too well.  I could have sworn they were looking at paint swatches and carpet samples when I left this morning...

It would seem that fiber has failed me.  That bitch.  That lying bitch.   

So, this very well may be goodbye.  Yes, you can have my porn collection.  Be good to it. 

So, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll walk toward the light now...