AND, I have a list.
*ahem*
1. My uncle George (minister uncle who hates gays and free thinkers and who was recently caught stuffing dollar bills down some greasy stripper's thong)
2. My brother Pablo (who called me a faggot during our last conversation and is delightfully superstitious)
3. The Texas State Senate and House of Representatives as well as the Governor's Mansion if it's ever rebuilt (because they want to make being gay illegal again and make marrying gay couples a crime and because as far as I'm concerned, our whacko governor should live in a trailer house)
4. Sarah Palin (because she just so happens to be Sarah Palin)
5. Gerard Butler (because he won't sleep with me)
6. Oil company executives (because they're ruining the world)
7. People who drive Hummers (because they're putting money in the oil company executives' pockets)
8. Terrorists (because they need to calm the fuck down already. For these nasty motherfuckers, I'll bring the ghosts of all the people they've killed and we'll deal some justice)
It's a tall order, you say? It'll take an eternity, you say? Well, that's exactly how long I have to get it done.
Be warned. DO NOT PISS ME OFF...or you'll end up on this list. I'll be the cucuy that haunts your nightmares. Fear me.
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