breaking up I mean. I must be terrified of loss. My ex friended me on Facebook today and I accepted quite against my better judgement. Thank goodness for honest friends with dirty looks or I would have kept him as my friend and become obsessed with his "post me" life. Having said that, I also unfriended his ass on myspace. I figured I might as well...confession: I check it everyday to see what friends he has and who's making comments.
It's not right.
I hope I'm better at this the next go around.
And why can't I stop eating? I may be with child. Although, to be honest, I'm skeptical due to my not having a uterus...but one never knows.
So while I'm on the subject of my missing uterus, let's talk about old people in crowded grocery stores. Because they're totally related.
I was at the grocery store yesterday getting groceries. Oh the joys of grocery shopping. Not being able to find anything, children crying for something their parents refuse to buy, the smell emanating from somewhere in the seafood section, and (worst of all) slow senior citizens that will not get out of your way.
Don't get me wrong. I love the elderly and I'm fully aware that someday I'll be one. But what the hell are they doing stopping up the progress at HEB at that hour? It's not safe.
Which is why I have an idea! Grocery cops. Yes, grocery cops. Hot mens in tight uniforms with big sunglasses that will direct traffic, silence children, ticket slow pokes and speeders, and
come up with delightfully clever ways little mescins like me can get out of tickets.
So, who do I have to kill/ sleep with to get this done? Sigh.
Tonight, I'm making dinner for short blond electrician guy, to be known as "ShortNSweet" from now on.
I like hanging out with him but I'm kinda bummed out that I'm missing a free showing of Pink Flamingos at the Alamo Drafthouse with my friends and beer. I love beer. Oh well, I told myself that the next time I watched that movie I'd be high. So, I guess it's for the best.
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