Seriously?

Soooooo.....I have some very vivid memories of my grandfather, driving around, refusing to ask for directions and my grandmother yelling at him to stop and ask someone, ANYONE, for directions. However, I also remember my grandmother getting lost, very often, even after having asked for directions.

Why can't we just learn from our mistakes and be willing to ask for directions and then shut the fuck up and listen to the directions and then actually follow them? Porque why?

I often have to give directions here at the front desk. I usually don't mind...really. Unless you're a person with no sense of direction. However, I find it's a very specific type of person that has the most problems. I know I'm going to get so much heat from this but it's true.

I previously worked at the front desk for three years and now I'm back. I've given directions to women and men. The only time I've had a situation in which the caller will not listen to the directions or will not actually follow the directions is when the caller is a woman. Oh, and they get really mean when they get lost. It's not all women, mind you. But, the men seem to get here just fine. No problems.

I don't want to perpetuate some stupid stereotype about women drivers. I'm just venting about one of the more aggravating aspects to working the front desk...I'm just sayin'. Please don't come to my house and cut me. Or hit me. Or tear me a new one. Or torture my cats and make me watch. Please.

Playing Catch Up...

I haven't written in an while but I'll try and give a quick run down because I'm too distracted right now to try and put more than a few paragraphs together...

Here goes: I'm dating three guys (now two, more on that later). I drank a whole lot this week and weekend at the new gay Irish pub called Sparky's...lovin' it!!! Finally hit pay dirt with the electrician and boy was it worth the wait. Hubba Hubba. Oh, and he makes fucking bad ass fried chicken...that's hot in my book. If he makes good biscuits, I may bottom.

I had a great time at M's birthday bash with the lunch crew and I met one of M's boyfriend's friends "Afghanistan Contractor" who I secretly hope (and suspect) is bisexual or gay. He suggested that we need to get together soon and get really drunk...I agreed wholeheartedly. He also said that in Afghanistan I'd be called "Beautiful Man"...he told me the Afghani word for it but it escapes me. Overall, I had a great time and laughed my ass off. Boy do I love hanging out with those biatchas....

Saturday I went to a new place here in town called Bin555 for a birthday for one my friends. It was amazing and surprisingly reasonable. Had a great time, ended up at Sparky's again, and finished the night off dancing my booty off with Twing 1 at HEAT. OH, and one of the guy's at the dinner is friends with my ex....AWKWARD. After a while he talked to me and everything seemed okay. Then, my very close friend of several years, MK, looked at me and then looked at my ex's friend and said "We need to get together and talk."

He's coming over tomorrow for dinner. I wonder what he wanted to dish about.

And, today I met my brother at the Greyhound station. He texted me this morning and said he was passing through on his way to New Braunfels to a funeral for one of his Aunts (we're half brothers). It was good to see him and he looked good...I was glad; I worry about him.

Last but not least, Smokey Jesus broke off our dating arrangement yet again. This time because I'm dating several people. He knew this early on, but unbeknownst to me, he was wrestling with his "moral conscience". Today, just today, he decided that he couldn't violate his morals any longer and that the idea of dating more than one person was foreign to him.

So, I deleted him from Facebook, deleted his number, and I deleted our text stream from my phone. I gave it another chance but obviously he's a little fucked up.

That's it in a nutshell. I'm going to start taking Vyvanse for the ADHD tomorrow. Maybe then my blog entries will be a little more cogent...but please don't hold me to it.

Flamenco, take me away!

Booooy, am I excited! I'm going to Flamenco tonight with Smokey Jesus...oh Flamenco!

There's this place near my apartment called Carmen's De La Calle Cafe. Very nice place. Eclectic, intimate, comfy, and sexy....me encanta.

They have delish tapas and their Sangria is to die for. To. Die. For.

But, the best part of it is the live Flamenco on Friday nights. They move the tables from the center of the cafe and put down a tabla which is the board the dancers dance on. The singing, guitar, and percussion are all live...

I'm always completely taken by the dancing. It's an unleashing of passionate expression brilliantly reigned in by form and rhythm.

It's always the same.

I get there, I get comfy, drink some sangria, nosh on some tapas, strike up a conversation with whoever is sitting next to me (it's a very small space). Once the dancing starts, I let it take me away for a little while. And, I especially like sharing it with someone else.

Especially if that someone else is a hot date. The combined effect of the Flamenco and the wine is utter and complete...if I'm there with a date, you better believe we'll be rocking the boat later...*rubs hands together* Mwuahahahaha....

This time I promise to take ze pikchurs...and I'll post them tomorrow...late...'cause we'll be snuggling in, putas!

How awkward....

I've been feeling socially awkward lately and I'm not sure why. Just yesterday at the front desk, I was talking to two co-workers and I made a really bad joke...it didn't make sense although it did to me at the time. I haven't blushed like that in quite a while. My face got all hot.

Today, I feel very shy and timid. I'm also very irritable. Eh, I guess it's just one of those days.

And, OMG, it's cold today. What the hell, when did I move to Wisconsin? This is San Antonio for crying out loud! The low tonight is 18 or something terrible like that. I'm glad I wore a padded braw.

So, in an attempt to ease the frosty cold, I'm making mulled wine tonight for Smokey Jesus and me. I haven't had mulled wine in years and it's super tasty...although I better be careful. It sneaks up on you and I work in the morning. I think this cold snap is pretty much hitting the entire country...stay warm putas! As for me, I'll be snuggling with my date...bien calientitos y empalmados!

I suck at this....

breaking up I mean. I must be terrified of loss. My ex friended me on Facebook today and I accepted quite against my better judgement. Thank goodness for honest friends with dirty looks or I would have kept him as my friend and become obsessed with his "post me" life. Having said that, I also unfriended his ass on myspace. I figured I might as well...confession: I check it everyday to see what friends he has and who's making comments.

It's not right.

I hope I'm better at this the next go around.

And why can't I stop eating? I may be with child. Although, to be honest, I'm skeptical due to my not having a uterus...but one never knows.

So while I'm on the subject of my missing uterus, let's talk about old people in crowded grocery stores. Because they're totally related.

I was at the grocery store yesterday getting groceries. Oh the joys of grocery shopping. Not being able to find anything, children crying for something their parents refuse to buy, the smell emanating from somewhere in the seafood section, and (worst of all) slow senior citizens that will not get out of your way.

Don't get me wrong. I love the elderly and I'm fully aware that someday I'll be one. But what the hell are they doing stopping up the progress at HEB at that hour? It's not safe.

Which is why I have an idea! Grocery cops. Yes, grocery cops. Hot mens in tight uniforms with big sunglasses that will direct traffic, silence children, ticket slow pokes and speeders, and

come up with delightfully clever ways little mescins like me can get out of tickets.

So, who do I have to kill/ sleep with to get this done? Sigh.

Tonight, I'm making dinner for short blond electrician guy, to be known as "ShortNSweet" from now on.

I like hanging out with him but I'm kinda bummed out that I'm missing a free showing of Pink Flamingos at the Alamo Drafthouse with my friends and beer. I love beer. Oh well, I told myself that the next time I watched that movie I'd be high. So, I guess it's for the best.

OMG, I think I have un Estalker...

I barely slept last night...I went to sleep late with my overnight guest...tee hee...and I wasn't able to fall asleep. Remember Twing #1?

Of course you do.

Since the last time I wrote about him we've gone out two more times and he was over at my place for New Year's Eve. Last night he came over for dinner. It was great. We watched a movie and then some episodes of Little Britain on Netflix. He laughed at all the parts I did.

So we took the logical next step and he spent the night last night...very good lover that one.

And what the hell is up with everyone sounding like phlegm ridden smokers in the office today? Geez.

ANYWAICE. I recently found out that there's a nest of squirrels in the attic of our building over my apartment (what luck!). So all last night I heard them running around, scratching, squealing, playing loud music...evil, evil squirrels.

However, every once in a while I heard something very heavy on the ceiling and what sounded like human foot steps. Uy cu cuy.

Now, I've heard this before. When I had my landlord check it he said all he saw was the squirrel nest...not a sleeping bag or empty cans of beans or any other type of hobo paraphanalia. So what the hell is it that I'm hearing?

I think I have a stalker. But who is it? My ex? Jesus? Gerard Butler? The Rythm?

I don't know. But, last night I was pretty scared. It helped that I wasn't alone but tonight I'm going at it solo (sleeping I mean) and I'm kinda dreading it. Sustame!