Saturday, September 11, 2010

Tobin Hill Art Walk

Although, initially, I was forced to live in this neighborhood because it's cheap and close to work and school, I've grown to love it.  The past couple of years have brought some nice changes like a river walk extension, The Culinary Institute of America Food of the Americas school, several top notch restaurants, a farmer's market, and various art venues. 

Now, there's some icing on this residential cake.  The Tobin Hill Art Walk!  I'd hear of it a few months back but never went until last night.  I invited a date, Charles, to go with me, and even though art is not really his thing, we both had a pretty great time.  First stop, The Hightwire Art Gallery.  I've been to this place before for Jazz Poetry on Tuesday nights, but this is the first time I'd been for an exhibition. 

There was some really great art, in my humble "not versed in art appreciation in the slightes" opinion.  Sheck it out:
















SOCK MONSTERS!!

I got a couple for my fave biatchas.  I hope they like them.

Also on the walk, some performance art by drama students at San Antonio College, where I'm also a student. 



















There was a hat for tips.  Starving artists.

AND, there was the cute fire boy.









Friday, August 20, 2010

La Mala Educacion



I hate San Antonio College right now. 

They can kiss my narrow brown ass.

They can take their new registration system and shove up their asses as far as it'll go.

I spent the greater part of June and July trying to register with the fucking new system.  I'm finally registered, on a payment plan, and on schedule. 

I've even paid for my books.

Today I went there just to get my student ID.  A minor thing.  Not urgent or essential but nice to have to get access to SAC perks like use of the gym and computer labs not to mention kick ass discounts at the movies.

But in order to get the ID, I need to show proof that I'm current on my payments.  I was told there were computers on the second floor of the building I was in.  All I needed to do was print proof of said payment schedule and then I'd be ready go.  Sounds simple, right?

Fuck no.

Turns out the new registration system (ACES which I think should really be called ASSES) doesn't have a record of my payment plan.  They have a record of the $177 dollars I coughed up last month as a down payment.  AND, they have a record of a balance that's double what is was before.  SAC is charging me for 4 classes when I'm only taking two.

I sez to mahself, I sez, "Roman, take a deep breath.  I'm sure this is just a minor glitch that can easily be dealth with at the Bursar's office".

Thing is, the line at the Bursar's office is out the door and the average wait time is 1 1/2 hours to 2 hrs...I was on my lunch break and had about 40 minutes left of it. 

I'll have to show up at 7:45 am tomorrow morning to try and get a good place in line. 

I'll tell you this much.  If they've disenrolled me I'm going to make a scene.  I'm going to make a scene and not leave there until they fucking fix this mistake.

So make sure to tune in to the evening news tomorrow.  I'll be the skinny little mexijew that's cuffed himself   to the Bursar's office and is refusing to leave.  I don't own cuffs, you'd think I would but I don't. I guess I'll have to take them from the security guard that will undoubtedly be called to deal with the situation.

I should probably get my hur did just in case there's cameras.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Gross

Wanna hear something gross?

You know, I was asked that question as a kid all the time by my friends, my brothers, and the occasional adult.  I always said "yes". 

No one asks me anymore.  And, no one says "yes" now. 

Damn adulthood! 

Wanna hear something gross?  Yes?

Good.

So I was riding my bike on Friday night.  Because anything can happen, I carried my backpack which contained my wallet, my phone, and my keys. 

Now, lately, we've had an infestation of crickets in San Antonio.  Big, fat, creepy crickets. 

I hate bugs.

Not only are they everywhere but they seem to always jump at you.  I totally queen out when that happens and me queening out is not pretty. 

So, I was riding my bike around the 'hood, the infestation having completely slipped my mind.  After a very satisfying ride I get home and pull out my keys.  As I pulled the keys out of the mesh pocket on the side of my back pack I felt something mushy.  Something akin to a banana.  I thought to myself, "I don't remember putting a banana in my back pack".

I didn't put a banana in my back pack.  It was a cricket...literally "was".  It would seem that in grabbing my keys I also grabbed a stow away cricket and crushed it in my hands...I had the remnants of a cricket and whatever it's filled with ON MY HANDS!

I totally queened out, screamed, ran inside, washed my hands, washed my keys, and almost threw up.

I had to clean cricket remains out of the mesh pocket on the side of my back pack...do you know how hard that is?

I think I have PTSD now.  I may never recover.  You can now proceed to feel sorry for me.

Thank you.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Left Field

I can't sleep.  I just got back from the animal hospital with Doodoo and I can't sleep.

I have words swimming around in my head that keep me awake. 

Old Fracture
Enlarged Kidney
Mass
Fluid
Amputation
Pain
Metastasized
Biopsy
Cancer

I thought he had a bladder infection.

It's amazing what a full body scan will show you. 

Like necrosis in the hip caused by an old fracture. 

Like the fact that my baby has been in pain all this time and I didn't know it.

It shows you all the evidence that points to a cancer that started at the necrosis and then metastasized to the heart, lungs, and kidneys. 

No diagonsis.  A biopsy would be needed for that.  But, before a biopsby - amputation from the hip down.

But, the look on the doctor's face told me everything.

He gave me pain meds, antibiotics, and an enema.  An enema because on top of everything else, he was impacted which would explain the chronic diarrhea since the day we found him.

That body scan.  Doesn't miss a thing.

My regular vet doesn't do body scans and cats don't let on that they have pain. 

But, today I noticed that he could only walk a litte while before he'd have to lie down.  Up until today, he seemed perfectly fine. 

Necrosis.

I rushed him to the hospital.  1 1/2 hours of tests...

I wanted to ask the doctor that if the mass and organ inflammation turned out to be cancer, would it be treatable. 

But, I just nodded my head while he pointed his pen at the mass on the screen because the words would not come.

Do you see this here?

Nod.

Do you see how large this is?

Nod.

Do you understand?

Nod.

He asked me to take Dewey back in 2 months...to see if the antibiotics made a difference.  If not, then he'd like to amputate to see if the mass and the inflammation are cancer.  I'll have to ask the following questions: "If it looks like cancer and has all the tell tale signs of cancer, what else could it be?" and "If it's cancer, can it be treated?" 

Should I have my cat amputated only to find out that he has cancer in his lungs, kidneys, and heart that cannot be treated?

I don't want to cause more pain than he's already had to endure...especially if nothing can be done. 

"The necrosis itself is painless.  The cancer, however, would be excruciatingly painful", he said.

He's a doctor, not a poet.

I have two months. 

When I make the bed to go to sleep, he'll play with the sheets like normal.  He'll attack my feet at night.  He'll wake me up early to feed him. 

Two months.

Life.  She's a bitch sometimes.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

This cannot be happening...

Cold sores:  Ugly.  Painful.  Stigmatizing.  Gross.  Embarrassing

They're caused by a virus called Herpes Simplex 1, not to be confused with Herpes Simplex 2, which causes genital herpes.  Most people with cold sores acquire them as children and the virus lays latent in their bodies FOR EVER!  Due to stress and illness there are breakouts.  What does one look like?  I'll show you (take the children out of the room):



Big enough for 'ya?  Are u okay?  Do you need to sit down, a glass of water, maybe some smelling salts?

 That's what I have to deal with for the next 10-14 days.  Fuck.  Remember the last post about how stressed out I've been and how I had a stomach bug not too long ago that I'm kind of still recovering from?  You 'memer! All that is the perfect recipe for this:



Any questions? 

It's very embarrassing.  I hate leaving the apartment when I have one.  Even worse, I'm a receptionist so everyone that walks through that door gets a gander at it.  I've had all kinds of reactions from complete indifference to looks of alarm and disgust.  For 10-14 days, I'm a leper. 

I see my doctor today.  I'm soooo going to beg for a prescription for the generic form of Valtrex.  Everything I've read says that you can take a dose when you first feel the tingle (it all starts with a tingle) and there won't even be a blister!  Que nice.

And for the record, here's a list of all the celebrities that stand in solidarity with me on this:

•Alexa Chung
•Alyssa Milano
•Anne Heche
•Bill Clinton
•Billy Idol
•Brad Pitt
•Britney Spears
•Colin Farrell
•David Beckham
•David Hasselhoff
•Derek Jeter
•Elle Macpherson
•Fred Durst
•Janet Jackson
•Jessica Alba
•Jessica Biel
•Katie Holmes
•Kim Kardashian
•Lauren Hutton
•Liza Minnelli
•Lucie Arnaz
•Mariah Carey
•Mary Kate Olsen
•Michael Vick
•Moby
•Nicole Kidman
•Paris Hilton
•Pamela Anderson

Okay, so there are a few sleaze bags on this list but some of these folks are very respectable people...I mean, Bill Clinton...he was leader of the free world for 8 years!  I think you get the point. 

So, it's off to work.  Without a car as it's in the shop.  But, I won't stress out about it.  No.  Or I'll end up with another one of these: