Engrish

What the hell? What is the world coming to when people have to be reminded to keep their flying saucers to themselves...que gross. So after reading this, I've decided to not go to the World Receptionists' Conference in Shanghai, what with the H1N1 and the Stupid Disease...which is the last thing I need right now. Did I get my Stupid shots this year? Hmm....better call the doctor...

So I thought I had the flu yesterday for like an hour...very exhausting. I got all hot faced at work and my ears were turning red (classic sign that I have a fever since I was a wee little lass). I thought at first it all had to do with H tucking his shirts in but it wouldn't go away when he'd leave the room. Naturally, I thought H1N1 heard I was single and looked me up. But, turns out I was just flustered by a lady that had yelled at me on the phone.

Super bitch, I kid you not.

Went home, took a nap, ate some soup, gagged down some Ensure...and I felt better...

OH! I took an hour emptying boxes yesterday afternoon from our office supply shipment here at work in order to secure said boxes...I forgot to take them before I went home and figured I'd load them in the car this morning. They're gone. Fucking gone. So, now I have a few options. Look for more boxes or place a very large bogus office supply order pretty soon...not sure which I'll do.

Time will tell.

Pinches Detalles

We chatted on the internet for about an hour before deciding to meet at a Starbucks off of 281 and Henderson Pass. His gay.com picture was of him standing in front of a painting...he had a 5 o'clock shadow and I thought he was handsome.

I had a tall chai latte, the only thing I knew how to order at Starbucks back then, and he had a grande mocha. We talked about his work and my considering Judaism...I told him about the universalism of Judaism and compared it to Christianity. I used a flood for my metaphor...I said that in Christianity it's all about getting on the boat before the shit hits the fan. In Judaism, it's about everyone staying and working together to build a system of canals to safely carry the water away. He didn't get mad or seem uncomfortable at all, and I liked that.

After Sbux, we went for a hike at Eisenhauer park....it was a drizzly afternoon...I checked his ass out right before he got into his car. I almost rear ended a mini van on the way there...we laughed about it later. We walked up to the tower and talked about cooking for the holidays...he told me he made a mean turkey.

After that, I suggested we grab something to eat. He followed me all the way to Panchitos. I had the caldo (I was so nervous, I'd lost my appetite) and he had the fajita plate (still his default Mexican food). We talked some more about his job and he told me he made therapeutic board games as a hobby and I thought it was great. I made him laugh. I walked him to his car and we hugged...I remember exactly what he was wearing...a fleece shirt, grey, with three buttons at the top and a fitted pair of jeans, both are still on his side of the closet....on the way home, he texted me and said he had a great time...I responded with a "likewise" and a smile.

Ensure has saved my life....

because I can't eat anything when I'm stressed out. My body rebels and says, "No sir, I'm not having it." Seriously, that's what it says with a British accent. For reals. All I can stomach is soups, water, and Ensure. Ensure has 350 calories per serving...no joke. It's literally keeping me alive. That cold bottle of creamy slightly metallic goodness is now my life force.

My next worry, aside from my broken heart and 2 years of my life torn to pieces, is constipation...I don't think ensure has any fiber. Wait, check that. According to my sources, Ensure has 3 grams of fiber per serving....hell yes!

How will I know I'm getting better? Memories of Stephen won't feel like a searing knife in my chest. I'll find pleasure in the little things again. I'll sooooo start dating many a hot man. And, Ensure will gracefully bow out of my life until I need her again...

Strength

Stephen and I broke up yesterday morning (on Shabbat, no less)...rather Stephen broke up with me. We were together for two years. To say the least it's been a very difficult day. I'm puffy from crying, weak from not being able to eat anything, and excitascared about my future. I'm spent and don't have many words to type...I've already spoken them all over coffee, dinner, tea, and the phone.

I have this to say...I'm glad I have friends to surround me and support me through this. And, I'm grateful for the strength that I found within me that I honestly did not think I had.

The good times I'll always remember. As for the bad times...I never have to relive them.

Happy things...

After looking through my past blogs, I've decided to take things in a different direction. I'm a very negative person and I tend to complain and linger too long on life's curveballs. So, today I've decided that I'm going to do my level best to list all the things that made me feel happy every day. Maybe at some point I'll work it in to some funny and well written narrative, but for the moment, I'm sticking to a simple list.

Why?

Because I think that I seriously need to stop and take time to remember the things in my day that made me happy. Maybe then, I'll stop obessing about all the not so happy things. It's probably only going to be a short lists at first, but my suspicion is that my days are rich with happiness that I ignore which makes for longer lists every day *crosses fingers*

1. My dog, Jessy, very politely requesting cuddles this morning before I brushed my teeth.

2. Stephen coming back to bed, after getting ready, to snuggle with me for another half hour.

3. The way the air smelled this morning when I first stepped out of the apartment.

4. The easy drive to work this morning...no traffic drama.

5. Pulling into the parking lot at the same time as M and walking in to the office with her.

6. The smell of the fresh coffee grounds before I put them in the coffee maker

7. Eating my oatmeal

8. Drinking coffee

9. Greeting everyone (coworkers) in the morning at work

10. Finding out for sure that I'm now at the front desk permanently

11. Talking to F about her husband trying to walk 2 miles with her and then quitting

12. Talking with Thanks God about her gay cousin, Cheyenne, and Ricky Martin

13. Painting my door for Halloween

14. Eating a blow pop.

15. Lunch with K, H, and M.

16. Watching K's attempt at eating a brussel sprout.

17. H's pretzels *snicker*

18. Listening to "Banana Pancakes" in M's car on the way to get frozen yogurt

19. Laughing with M on the way back because Prime Cultures uses Wal-Mart brand yogurt

20. K sneaking up on me all day with the "funny startle".

21. H thanking me for bringing something to his attention after ExMomma dismissed my efforts.

22. M's honeydew melon

23. The sunlight that pours onto the front desk this time of year through the lobby dormers

24. Watering the plants in the lobby.

25. Eating frozen yogurt with cocoa pebbles on top.

26. How readily I can get facial care advice during lunch.

27. Easy drive home.

28. Jessy meeting me at the door.

29. Making supper

30. The way Stephen's lips feel when I kiss him.

31. Stephen complimenting me on supper.

32. Watching 10th anniversary show of "Good Eats"

33. Snuggling with Stephen on the sofa

34. Ginger brew

35. Canteloupe and raspberries for dessert.

36. Jessy watching me type like it's the most interesting thing in the world.

37. Having someone waiting for me in the bedroom :)

38. Facebook comments

39. Having WAY more things on this list than I thought I'd have....

I really think this could have therapeutic effects. G'night. :)

Kill Me Now

Front desk, here I come!

New girl is here. I've yet to be formally introduced to her as the person that's been doing what is now her job for 3 years.

The closest I came was when momma came up to the front desk and told me to start moving my stuff out as soon as possible and to tie up my loose ends...with the new employee standing behind her blushing.

I hate her.

I feel such relief to be done with this already.