Oy Vhat?

Okay, so I get called to the board room today and I think to myself, "Shit, they found out about my toilet papering scheme if my part time demands aren't met; who squealed?". Much to my surprise, I was called in as the Jewish reference. Christina and some of the board members had a question about making reminder phone calls to the Jewish people that are attending our annual fundraising luncheon on the eve of Passover and whether or not an "Angel" theme for the luncheon (held at the Temple) would be offensive to Jewish sensitivities. I gave as much information as I could and I think it was good information.

But, I can't help but wonder why me? We have several Jewish members on the board, one of which is the Temple's cantor. This is an oversimplification but a cantor is basically a singing Rabbi. If anyone would know, she'd would. Anyway, I don't think Christina really listened to me. I told her that the Passover seder is held on the evening of the 8th. So, people are either getting ready to go to a seder or preparing for their own seder at home. Usually, homes fill up with guests and it's chaos. But, she insisted that the calls would be made no later than 6 and should be fine. Which again, makes me wonder, why was I called to the board room for this? I blushed the whole time.

For what it's worth, I really appreciate how Christina goes out of her way to make people feel included, at least that's been my experience. But, I'm still a little confused.

One Hit Wonders

So, I was talking to Oliver last night about how psyched I am about today's game and he decided to give me some pointers. Who knew Oliver played volleyball in college?

Out to Lunch, Bitches!

Today is just one of those Mondays when I wish I could snap my fingers and be somewhere else. Where would I want to go, you ask. Hmmm...I'd like to be in San Francisco on Castro street holding hands with Stephen and going from shop to shop gushing at everything we see for sale and talking about what we'd have to do to move there. I'd like to for it to be a cool and cloudy day that threatens rain but never follows through. I think a nice cool breeze from the bay would do me wonders. Alas, I am here. So, I can't go home, but I can do the next best thing - lunch! See ya bitches! I'll be back in an hour...ish.

Coup d'etat. Who's with me?!?!?

If I were to stage a coup d'etat on my "supervisor" here's what I'd do:

1. Not obsess about what time employees came in before 8:30am.

2. I would create a uniform system for filing charts

3. I would turn the fucking lights on in my office

4. I'd have the office thoroughly disinfected before using it

5. I'd have weekly meetings to compare information, voice concerns, and train on changes in pharm co policies

6. I'd standardize all of our forms and make sure they were written with proper grammar and spelling

7. Blogging at work would be punishable by death

8. Weak and sad attempts at looking like Liza Minelli in Cabaret would be punishable by death

9. I'd hire a cute little hottie to take my place as Admin Assistant (so as to soften the transition).

10. And last but not least, I'd bring breakfast tacos every Friday for my staff.

I smell something hot....

We had another training at work today which sucked ass as usual. And, this time I wasn't sitting close enough to K to pass notes. So, when all the funny moments happened I was stuck in an island of laughter supression. Moments like when we were told to get out of the building if we smelled something burning or something hot and I wondered it that applied to the Dahill rep that did our copier training (very nice) or when I was the only dumb ass that raised his hand for a personalized dissertation on closed workshops courtesy of the E. D. heretofore to be known as Christina because she looks very much like the Spanish language talk show host.

And while it was mildly interesting, Christina kept expounding and expounding and after that the effort to appear interested turned my mind to mush for the rest of the day. Why the hell did I raise my hand?!?

Ugh.

I could feel the dirty looks pelting my back from the poor suckers behind me. Am I the only person that slips in and out of consciousness during those meeting/ trainings? And why does Grandma have to do them? Can't we hire someone else that's not so....what's the word....boring? What's Margaret Cho doing these days? Maybe she'd be interested in a little contract work. Otherwise, I may just sleepwalk my ass out the next one.

Here we go again...

Remember on old sitcoms how the husband would bring an extra person to dinner without the wife knowing and the wife would get really pissed off?

I'm that wife today.

The thing is that it's absurd that I should even care that my boyfriend invited an extra guest for Shabbat dinner.
1. It's Shabbat dinner which means the more the merrier.
2. I actually like this friend, even if we've never had him over to our home before.
3. I'm supposed to not have these petty hang ups at all, especially right before Shabbat.

So, I'm putting it in writing so that I have less of an excuse later. I'm not going to be passive agressive bitchy all evening just because my well meaning although sometimes clueless boyfriend invited an extra guest to Shabbat dinner. There.